I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
