dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
