Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
