Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
