Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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