You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
