.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
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