You're completely useless in the revolution.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I think my vagina is haunted
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
