one might say we're banned from that church
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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