Michael Bay diarrhea
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
