Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
