And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
