How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
