I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
