too bad you live with your parents still
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Randomize
