So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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