Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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