And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
