I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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