i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
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