I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
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