Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
