seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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