Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
