I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
