it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
