it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
