omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Houston, we have a squirter
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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