he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
