so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
