Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
