Pappa wants mamma naked
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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