So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
