somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
