She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
