one might say we're banned from that church
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
