Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
