careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
