best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
