she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
