didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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