His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Someone came in the potted fern
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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