Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
