I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
