i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
