Hey man sorry I got all grabby
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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