she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
