I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
