we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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