I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
