Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
